What Would Have Been
by Jiggly Wess
Summary: Title says pretty much everything! please R


Title: What would have been

Author: Jess

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Summary: Well title pretty much sums up what it's about!

Story:

"I Wish I'd never come to this town in the first place!" Jo shouted to no one in particular. She was the only one in the house because everyone else was at the pub celebrating Susie's birthday. Jo had made a short appearance to wish her a happy birthday but then the minute PJ showed up she had left. She had just been driving around for a while before she decided to head over to Ben and PJ's house to pick up the rest of her things. It had been a week since she moved out and this was the first time she had been in the house. She had been sorting through some clothes in the linen cupboard when she noticed the phot album. She picked it up and started going through it. Now she was sitting on the couch crying her eyes out.

"I hate my life! I wish I was never born." She cried.

"Don't say things you'll regret later." A familiar voice said.

"Who's there?" Jo asked looking around. "Where are you?" Jo asked frantically moving her head trying to spot someone.

"Don't you recognise my voice? We were friends once weren't we?" Jo was confused.

"Who are you? Show yourself!"

"Ok but you have to promise you wont get freaked out."

"OK...I promise." She said hesitantly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Now come out where I can see you."

"Ok."

Jo looked around the room and then suddenly in front of her she saw a blinding light. She closed her eyes and when she opened them again standing I front of her was none other than Maggie.

"M...Maggie?" Jo asked.

"Yeah it's me."

"Are you...a ghost?"

"Not as such. I'm a spirit sent to help you with your problem."

"I don't think anyone can help me." She lowered her head. "Least of all you." She muttered.

"Well...you said you wished you were never born...and I was sent to show you what would have happened if you weren't."

"Am I dreaming?"

"No. You're very much awake." Maggie replied.

"Are you real?"

"As real as you want me to be." Maggie replied. "Take my hand."

"What?"

"Take my hand." Maggie held her hand out to Jo.

"Why?"

"Like I said. I've come to show you what life would have been like if you weren't around. Now hurry up. We've got a time limit."

"Ok" Jo slowly held her hand up to Maggies. She felt a cold breeze wash over her as she grabbed hold of what felt like ice.

"Hold on tight." Jo suddenly felt herself being lifted off the ground.

"What's happening?" Jo asked.

"Hold on." Maggie said. Jo was washed over by a bright light then suddenly she found herself lowering to the ground.

"Where are we?" Jo asked when she saw that they were standing outside a small farmhouse near the window.

"Go on have a look." Maggie pushed Jo towards the window. Jo slowly grabbed hold of the windowsill and peeked through the window.

"That's Dad." Jo smiled and she waved.

"He can't see you. Nobody can you don't exist remember."

"Who's that woman he's with? That doesn't look like mum." Jo cried when she saw Geoff wrap his arms around a young blonde woman. Then two kids ran up to them.

"Mummy Jason's trying to put play dough in my hair." The little blonde girl cried.

"Jason what have I told you about tormenting your sister." Geoff warned.

"Sorry Daddy."

"It's not me you should be apologising to. Apologise to your sister then go clean yourself up for dinner."

"Who are those kids? Why are they calling him Dad?" Jo asked.

"They are his kids. Before you were born your parents split up. They only got back together when your dad found out about your mum being pregnant with you. But without you being born they had no reason to get back together. So your Dad divorced your Mum and married his secretary." Maggie explained.

"No. Dad and Mum love each other. Why would he leave her?" Jo asked. "You're making this up."

"No Jo. I'm just showing you what would have been if you were never born." Maggie replied. "Come on. We've got more stops to make and so little time to make them." Maggie grabbed Jo's hand and once again she was lifted off the ground into a blinding light.

"Where are we going now?"

"To visit your mother."

When they touched the ground again Jo looked around to see where she was.

"Where are we?"

"You'll see. Look." Maggie pointed to a woman standing behind the checkout. The woman had grey hair and looked very pale. Jo read the nametag.

"Mum?" She asked. "What happened?"

"When your Dad left your Mum he left her with nothing. He took the house, the money and everything." Maggie paused. "She saw that your dad had moved on and she couldn't get over it. She loved him to much to start another family of her own so she just gave up and wound up working a dead end job in a supermarket." Maggie explained.

"No. Mum would never let that happen. She wouldn't."

"Without you around to bring your parents back together your mother lost her soul. She loved your father so much and when he left she just fell into nothing." Maggie explained.

"No..." Jo cried. Tears started forming in her eyes. "Mum." She whispered and walked over towards her.

"Come on Jo. We have to go."

"Mum no." Jo whimpered. Maggie grabbed her hand and her mother faded into nothing. "Why would you show me that?" Jo cried. "I've seen enough. Take me back!" She tried to pull her hand away.

"Don't do that. You'll end up killing yourself."

"Yeah well it will be a whole lot better than seeing any more of this crap!" Jo cried.

"Shhh. We've just got two more stops to make." Maggie told her. "Then you can go back."

"I want to go back now."

"Sorry Jo. You took my hand so I have to show you everything. Trust me even I would rather not go to these last two stops."

"Then don't."

"It's part of my job."

"What job?"

"Don't ask. It'll take too long to explain. Here we go."

"Where are we now?" Jo asked looking around as they got lower to the ground. "Prison? I don't know anyone that's in prison." Jo cried.

"No. But if you weren't around they would have ended up there."

"Who?" Jo asked.

"You'll see." Was all Maggie said. Once Jo was safely on the ground she once again looked around to see where she was. Then she noticed a young woman who looked barely 18 sitting by herself.

"Sam?" She asked. "Oh god!" Jo ran up to her. She tried to put her arm around her but it just went straight through.

"What the...?" Jo asked.

"You don't exist remember. Without you around to help Sam through her tough times she just kept breaking the law. No matter how much anyone tried she wouldn't listen to them. Her mother disowned her and she ended up in juvi. She spent her 18th birthday transferring to prison. She's been here ever since."

"What about the others? Surely they would have..."

"Don't you see Jo? You were the one that changed her life. You helped her to reconcile with her mother. And you were the one who changed her ways and stopped her braking the law." Maggie explained. "Without you around she just...fell apart. You made a huge impact on her life Jo. Don't you realise that."

Jo started crying. "I can't let this happen to her. I just cant." Jo cried "Take me back so I can change things."

"We've got one more stop to make." Maggie grabbed Jo's hand once again.

"I've seen enough. I don't want to see anymore." Jo cried.

"Just one last stop." Maggie said. "This is the one I really didn't want to see."

"We're in PJ's office. What are we doing here?" Jo asked. These aren't PJ's things." She said looking at photographs and little kids paintings.

"Exactly." Maggie said. "This isn't PJ's office anymore Jo."

"What do you mean? Did he get promoted?" Jo asked.

"No. The exact opposite. He got fired."

"What? Tom would never do that."

"Unless of course he felt PJ wasn't doing his job properly."

"PJ would never slack off. He loved his job. Where is he?"

"Come on I'll show you."

Maggie lifted Jo up once more. Only this time there was no blinding light. This time they flew through the roof and along the sky until they landed safely inside a small apartment.

"What are we doing here?" Jo looked around. Lying on the bed in daggy clothes was PJ. He looked as if he hadn't slept ate or shaved in months...years even.

"PJ?" Jo asked. "What happened?" She looked at Maggie who had tears forming in her eyes.

"Without you around PJ never got over me. He never forgot me. You were his saviour Jo. You helped him to move on." Maggie explained. "You see when you came into PJ's life you were a great friend to him. When I died...he had you to lean on. You helped him through it Jo. You were there for him when he needed you the most. When I left him...he lost control. He started concentrating less on work and he started trying to get the one that killed me. He wasn't doing his job well enough so they brought in another detective. PJ refused to work with her and they ended up letting him go. Now he's here." Maggie looked at PJ who was slowly dying of starvation on the bed.

"So you're saying that because of me...my parent stayed together...Sam stayed out of jail and PJ kept his job...and his life."

"Yes. That's right." Maggie replied. "Because of you so many lives were changed Jo. You helped a lot of people throughout your life. You were there for so many people. You saved so many lives...so many souls Jo."

"I...I don't believe it." A small smile came to her face. "My life is actually worth something?"

"Of course it is Jo. Everyone's life is worth something. You coming into this world saved several lives...including those of the people you love." Maggie explained.

"But I ruined so many lives as well. Mine is right on the top of that list."

"What makes you say you ruined your life?"

"I took Dimity away from her father...and in turn he pulled a murder/suicide act." Jo cried. "And that's just a start..."

"Jo there was nothing you could have done to save them...Kal Milich (AN: Not sure of spelling) was a messed up man."

"Yeah and I led him to believe that he would get custody of Dimity. Now they're both dead."

"How does that make you think you screwed up your life?"

"I'm a bad cop."

"No Jo you're one of the best cops around. Sure you do mess up from time to time but you wouldn't be human if you didn't make mistakes."

"And I fell in love with a man who didn't love me."

"Jo don't say that. PJ loves you...so much more than I can tell you."

"He loved you more. He still does."

"No Jo. PJ may not be over me yet but that doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. He needs you Jo. You need him." Maggie lifted Jo's face up and looked into her eyes. "Go back to him Jo."

"I cant. I need someone that loves me with all their heart."

"And PJ does. PJ lost the part of his heart that loved me when he lost me. And now the only one who he cares about is you Jo. Don't you get it? I'm PJ's past...you're his future. You're the one he wants to have a family with. You're the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with...grow old with. You Jo." Maggie said. "Look at how miserable he is without you in his life."

"It's not right.... He..."

"He loves you Jo. He needs you."

"Don't you..."

"I will always love him Jo. But I'm the past. You're the future. Hold onto PJ tightly and never let him go. You need each other. You belong together. I have to go now. Go back to PJ. He loves you."

"Maggie!" Go cried. "Wait...don't go yet. I have so many questions for you..." A powerful light once again blinded Jo and a chill ran over her as she started falling.

"Maggie help me!" Jo cried.

"Jo wake up!" Ben called. "Jo!"

"Maggie." Jo muttered.

"Jo you're having a nightmare. Wake up." Ben shook her. Jo opened her eyes.

"What happened? Where am I?"

"You're at our place. You must have fallen asleep." He looked around her and noticed all the pictures of Maggie and PJ together. "Jo why do you keep doing this to yourself?" He held her close. "Maggie is gone now. You don't have to worry about her."

"I love him so much Ben."

"I know Jo. I know." Ben patted her back and she cried into his shoulder.

"Ben...do you believe in spirits?" Jo asked suddenly once her tears had dried.

"Well it depends. Why?"

"I saw Maggie."

"Jo you were just dreaming."

"No Ben this was real. She came here and showed me what life would be like if I wasn't here. Dad got re married and had a family, Sam was in jail and PJ...he got fired."

"Jo where on Earth would you get an idea like that?"

"I don't know...it was Maggie she showed me." Jo told him.

"Jo it was just a dream. Maggie's Dead." Ben cried.

"I know...but I saw her Ben. I saw her. Why wont you believe me?" She asked. She stood up shakily.

"Where are you going?"

"To find PJ." Jo replied and she walked out of the house leaving a very confused Ben sitting by the TV.

"Jo?" PJ asked. He was sitting at his desk and Jo had just walked into his office. "What are you doing here?" He asked standing up. Jo didn't say anything. She just ran up to him and kissed him passionately.

"What was that for?" PJ asked stepping back.

"I love you PJ." She said. "I want to marry you."

"What...Jo? what's going on?"

"Will you take me back?" She asked.

"Of course Jo. I love you so much...I just don't understand."

"Let's just say I had a visit from an old friend. She helped me to see that I really need you in my life." Jo smiled as she remembered back to her experience.

"Are you sure...I mean what about...?"

"I don't care PJ. I mean I know it's going to take a bit of work to get over it but I am willing to try if you are." She looked deep into his eyes.

"Of course I am Joey." PJ smiled at her.

"I love you." She wrapped her arms around him. She felt good to hold him and be held by him again.

"I love you too." He replied. "So who was your 'friend'?" PJ asked.

"That doesn't matter. All that matters is I'm here with you." She held him close.

"I'm glad you're back."

"Me too." Jo replied. "Me too."

Well I know I've posted a lot of fics lately but that's cos I am getting a new computer and I want to get rid of the fics I have saved to this computer before then!!! I've got more where that came from too!!! Hope you like reading them. Jess!


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